see if u can read

redgal wrote:Word Power
>fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

-"if you can read tis, you have strange mind too. can you read tis? only 55 people out of 100 can"

perhaps all people can read la.... i dun think only 55 people can read ...

A jobless man applied for the position of ¡°office boy¡± at Microsoft.
The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a
test.
¡°You are employed¡± he said. ¡°Give me your e-mail address and I¡¯ll send
you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start.
The man replied ¡°But I don¡¯t have a computer, neither an email¡±. ¡°I¡¯m
sorry¡±, said the HR manager. If you don¡¯t have an email, that means you
do not exist. And who doesn¡¯t exist, cannot have the job.¡±
The man left with no hope at all. He didn¡¯t know what to do, with only
in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a
10Kg tomato crate. He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round.
In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated
the operation three times, and returned home with . The man realized
that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and
return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled every day.
Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet
of delivery vehicles.
5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US .
He
started to plan his family¡¯s future, and decided to have a life
insurance.
He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan.
When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email.
The man replied, ¡°I don¡¯t have an email.¡±
The broker answered curiously,¡±You don¡¯t have an email, and yet have
succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been
if you had an e mail?!!¡±
The man thought for a while and replied,
¡°Yes, I¡¯d be an office boy at Microsoft!¡±
--
Moral of the story :
M1 - Internet is not the solution to your life.
M2 - If you don¡¯t have Internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.
M3 - If you received this message by email, you are closer to being an office boy/girl, than a millionaire¡­

psychedelicVisual wrote:

redgal wrote:Word Power
>fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

-"if you can read tis, you have strange mind too. can you read tis? only 55 people out of 100 can"

perhaps all people can read la.... i dun think only 55 people can read ...

haha...dun know le...maybe sum1 really cant read them gua...

The Scientist Joke.

Once all the scientists die and go to heaven. They decide to play hide-n-seek

Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den......... ...He is supposed to count upto 100...and then start searching... ..

Everyone starts hiding except Newton...... ...
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein.

Einstein's counting 1,2,3....... 97, 98,99.... .100..... ... He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front....... .

Einstein says 'newton's out..newton' s out.....'

Newton denies and says 'I am not out........I am not Newton...... '
All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton.

Newton says 'I am standing in a square of area 1m squared..... . That makes me Newton per meter squared..... . since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I'm Pascal, Therefore Pascal is OUT........!

Letter To Dad


A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed
was nicely made, and that everything was picked up and tidy.

Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed,

'Dad.'

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the
letter, with trembling hands.

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing to you. I had to
elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.

I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I
knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings',
tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much
older than I am.

But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and
has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having
many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't, really
hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with
the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and
ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so
Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know
your many grandchildren.

Love, your son, Joshua.





P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in
life than the School report that's on the kitchen table.

Number One Idiot of 2003

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because
she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her
that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant
poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better
bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.

Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Two Idiot of 2003

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in
getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a
float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming
towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the
emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Three Idiot of 2003

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
Branch and wrote 'this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag.'
Whil e standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he
began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call
the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank
of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank.
After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells
Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that
he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could
not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of
America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells
Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.

Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left. He was
arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank
of America.

Don't bother with this guy' s sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

what the hack where did you get all these stuff? it makes me want to cry out loud, wakakakaka

from "nowhere"......i got from my email...

anyway its good story, it makes my day, wakakakaa

Number Four Idiot of 2003

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.

He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car.
Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40.

Several days later, he received a letter from the police that
contained another picture, this time of handcuffs.

He immediately mailed in his $40.

Smart*ss... but you still get a sign
~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Five Idiot of 2003

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
all of the cash from the cash drawer.

After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of
Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the
cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and
said, 'Because I don't believe you are over 21.' The robber said he
was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't
believe him.

At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet
and gave it to the clerk.

The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21
and she put the Scotch in the bag.

The robber then ran from the store with his loot.

The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address
of the robber that he got off the license.
They arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idiot Number Six of 2003

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.

The first one shouted, 'Nobody moves!' When his partner moved, the
startled first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idiot Number Seven of 2003

Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window,
grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it
over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking
him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of
Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape. Yep,
Here's your sign

BRAIN TUMOR
> Doctor : I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
> Mr. Bean : Yesss!!! (Jumps in joy)
> Doctor : Did you understand what I just told you?
> Mr. Bean : Yes of course,do you think I'm dumb?
> Doctor : Then,why are you so happy?
> Mr. Bean : Because that proves that I have a brain!

the police is really smart*ss lah....

ya...hahaha

> MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL
> Teacher : What is 5 plus 4?
> Mr. Bean : 9.
> Teacher : What is 4 plus 5?
> Mr. Bean : Are you trying to fool me,you've just twisted the
> figure,the answer is 6!

> WHILE IN A DRUG STORE
> Mr. Bean : I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
> Clerk : Sir,vitamin A, B or C?
> Mr. Bean : Any will do,my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!

hahaha...

Subject: FW: JOKE

This is a "Best Joke" award winner in UK
One Chinese person walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.
Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get out of here."
The astonished Chinese man replied "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor, it was the Japanese".
"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.
In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says "You sank the Titanic; my forefathers were on that ship."
Shocked, Spielberg replies "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."
The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."
This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition in Britain.

History Mystery

Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday
Both Presidents were shot in the head

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln .

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln , was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln , was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who ass assinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln ' made by 'Ford.'

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials .

And here's the kicker...

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe , Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.