proton sage--> [joke heaven]

Two old friends - a Chinaman and a Malay were having a conversation recently ...

Apek: Lu potong zaka ada bagut ka?
Ali: Manyak bagut. Bila lu potong haa lu punya barang manyak bersih loo...

Apek: ?!! err ... saya kawan ada cakap, potong zaka aaahh.... manyak ploblem..
Ali: Apa probrem ?

Apek: Manyak buang lui, lagi aahh .. dia punya performance tatak bagut...
manyak cinang semputloh ..
Ali: Cehh... apek, lu apa celita... saya suda lama potong.
tada apa problem... bini saya manyak puas woo...

Apek: Lu mini puas sama itu potong zaka ka?
Ali: Ya laa. Bila lu potong aahh... lagi sedap maen woo..
lu lagi lambat pancut..

Apek: ???!!! err... lu punya 1.3 atau 1.5??
Ali: ??!! woi apek cakap baik2 sikit ha .. saya punya 6 inci laa..

Apek: ??! *** nia ma... lu jgn maen2 haa... mana ada potong zaka 6 inci..
Ali: Cilaka apek ni...nah tengok (opens his trousers)

Apek: Chee sin punya olang.....gua tanya baik2 .. lu tunjuk lu punya lanchiau..
Ali: Abis... lu tarak percaya..saya tunjuk la..

Apek: Saya tatak tanya sama lu punya lanchiau...
Saya tanya lu pasal itu nasional car... potong zaka..
molo punya olang..
Ali: Aiya... apek... lain kali lu sebut betul2 la....kasi susa saja..
Bukan potong zaka la..... proton saga........

chinese torture--> [joke heaven]

A young man was wandering, lost, in a forest when he came upon a small house.

Knocking on the door he was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, gray beard.

'I'm lost,' said the man. 'Can you put me up for the night?'

'Certainly,'
the Chinese man said, 'but on one condition. If you so much as lay a
finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese
tortures known to man.'

'OK,' said the man, thinking that the
daughter must be pretty old as well, he entered the house. Before
dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful and
had a fantastic figure. She was bviously attracted to the young man as
she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal.

Remembering
the old man's warning he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But
during the night he could bear it no longer and snuck into her room for
a night of passion.

He was careful to keep everything quiet so
the old man wouldn't hear and, near dawn, he crept back to his room,
exhausted but happy.

He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read,

'Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest.'

'Well, that's pretty crappy,' he thought. 'If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about.'

He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out.

As he did so he noticed another note on it that read 'Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle.'

In
a panic he glanced down and saw the line that was already getting close
to taut. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration,
he jumped out of the window after the boulder.

As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read,

'Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost.'

bumi dragon lord wrote:Two old friends - a Chinaman and a Malay were having a conversation recently ...

Apek: Lu potong zaka ada bagut ka?
Ali: Manyak bagut. Bila lu potong haa lu punya barang manyak bersih loo...

Apek: ?!! err ... saya kawan ada cakap, potong zaka aaahh.... manyak ploblem..
Ali: Apa probrem ?

Apek: Manyak buang lui, lagi aahh .. dia punya performance tatak bagut...
manyak cinang semputloh ..
Ali: Cehh... apek, lu apa celita... saya suda lama potong.
tada apa problem... bini saya manyak puas woo...

Apek: Lu mini puas sama itu potong zaka ka?
Ali: Ya laa. Bila lu potong aahh... lagi sedap maen woo..
lu lagi lambat pancut..

Apek: ???!!! err... lu punya 1.3 atau 1.5??
Ali: ??!! woi apek cakap baik2 sikit ha .. saya punya 6 inci laa..

Apek: ??! *** nia ma... lu jgn maen2 haa... mana ada potong zaka 6 inci..
Ali: Cilaka apek ni...nah tengok (opens his trousers)

Apek: Chee sin punya olang.....gua tanya baik2 .. lu tunjuk lu punya lanchiau..
Ali: Abis... lu tarak percaya..saya tunjuk la..

Apek: Saya tatak tanya sama lu punya lanchiau...
Saya tanya lu pasal itu nasional car... potong zaka..
molo punya olang..
Ali: Aiya... apek... lain kali lu sebut betul2 la....kasi susa saja..
Bukan potong zaka la..... proton saga........

Damn Funny!!
Malaysia Chinese and Indian conversation.

way to go man!